1992: I ♥ The Eurovision Song Contest

Hosted in Malmo, which is pronounced Malmoooooo or something like that and is in Sweden.

After a quick geography lesson in front of a Viking long-boat, last year’s winner, Carola, came on looking like a little singing elf from Lord Of The Rings. I was hoping for her to sing last years winning song, but no, she was shamelessly promoting her latest and much more downbeat song. Not the most cheery of starts to a contest but the fun was soon underway.

Michael Ball didn’t always have a face like a beach ball and when he was younger and much thinner, he was one of the United Kingdom’s hot favourites to win.

Not to spoil the end…but he didn’t.

With a pump of the fist and an “ooooohh yeah” he was on the stage belting out this up-tempo little number. He obviously knew then that he was going to be fat one day because the suit he was wearing would probably fit him much better these days.

It’s a little known fact that Michael achieved Grade 9 in  Invisible Musical Instrument playing – watch him play the invisible bells like a pro and bang the imaginary drum in the sky throughout the song.

Michael has an amazing voice and there’s no denying that – his mouth even almost sucked in one of the cameramen towards the end. Good effort Michael…

 

Someone from Switzerland seemed to think it was a good idea to take their drunk Auntie away from a family party and send her to Sweden to try to win Eurovison by doing a really bad Liza Minnelli impression…

 

The Icelandic entry was from a group called Heart 2 Heart. I think they should have been called Hair 2 Teeth because all I can see is blonde hair and enamel when I watch this video. Catchy song though…

 

Malta always put in so much effort when it comes to Eurovision and as far as I know they have yet to win. This entry was good and I liked it but for some reason I can only think f the Lollipop Guild when I watch it…

 

I always love hearing songs sung in Portuguese and I actually don’t remember this song but upon watching it just now, I like it. The song translates as “Fresh Water Love” but I think in her case it would be “Pint Please, Mate”…

 

The eventual winner was Ireland who totally robbed Michael Ball of the win. Once the Ireland branch of the Dallas look-a-like agency went bust Linda Martin could no longer make a living pretending to be Pam Ewing so Eurovision was the next best option. Why her indeed…

 

Until next time – spread some cheese on your baps!
I also contribute articles to wiwibloggs – Eurovision News, Polls and Predictions – With Attitude please take a few minutes to visit the site.

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