2000: I ♥ The Eurovision Song Contest

This year we are back in Sweden – Ooo hoo, big summer blowout and one would say back to the “home” of Eurovision!

Hosted by Queen Elsa and Hans this was going to be the biggest Eurovison Song Contest ever.

Let it go…

The United Kingdom were doing it for the “Eighties” by means of Nikki French’s song “Don’t Play That Song Again”. It was quite a fun song and she did a brilliant job but it was a new millennium and Nikki and her hair were well and truly in another decade altogether. So much so that I think they must have bumped into a young Bonnie Tyler. By young I mean almost 100 years old obviously. Good job Nikki and I’ve just played your song again, sorry.

Israel entered possibly what is the worst song I have ever heard in the Eurovision. Translated as “Be Happy” it makes me feel far from happy. Seriously for a country that is sadly infamous for war then they really should look at using these guys as some kind of weapon. Throw these boys and girls into your enemies area, tell them to sing and it’s guaranteed to be much more effective than any fancy missiles.

If it was a Eurovison Dress Contest then the Dutch, happy Grace Jones would have got 12 points from everyone. Fashion aside, this was an okay song but like the UK entry did sound a bit dated…

Dress anyone up like a Cowboy and I’m interested immediately. Ignoring the fact that the singer from Estonia had the biggest Camel Toe this side of the Sahara this was a classic Eurovision song. Catchy but not dated and easy to sing along to lyrics. Ines eventually came 4th just behind the camel.

Any song that has pan pipes in it is never going to be a winner with me, even if it does have a fat Robin Gibb looky likey as the singer. Pan pipes remind me of trying to do my shopping on a Saturday morning and being forced to listen to a pan pipe band. I don’t want it then and I certainly don’t want it in Eurovision. So, Romania – throw those pipes away. Also the singer can’t really actually sing.

Long before Jane McDonald was a Loose Woman she was a singer on a cruise ship. One of her stops on the cruise was Malta so one day when she disembarked the ship the Maltese government kidnapped her, chopped her hair off, gave her a few family size bags of Maltesers and entered her in the Eurovision. You’d never know she was distressed by the wonderful performance that she put on.

I never knew that Cher had three daughters but she does and they represented Norway in this year with the song “My Heart Goes Boom”. This was a kind of throw back to the sixties and I quite liked it. I think it should have actually finished higher than it did. Come on, it had a key change and everything.

I’m not being funny but I’m sure I used to go clubbing in the same outfits as the backing dancers from the Russian entry. The less said about that the better I think and I scare myself when I see how familiar their dance moves are. This song finished second and I’m really not sure why as it’s not very good.

“The Will To Live” was Belgium’s entry and after watching it I think I have actually lost that will. Also, I’m sure she has a toilet roll up her dress.

I can’t tell you how pleased I was to see Davina McCall back in the Eurovision and the fact that she had teamed up with Gareth Gate’s older brother who decided to come as a Marshmallow Man/Michelin Man hybrid only added to that excitement.

Not a lot of people have watched the missing Doctor Who episode title “Rose Enters Eurovision” but it really is one of the best episodes ever. Rose and The Master decided to sing on behalf of Iceland. It was a happy song, I’ve never saw The Master so cheery and he carries off that skirt really well.

I take back my previous comment about Cowboys after watching the German entry. This finished 5th and is a sign of the craziness to come over the next few years.

Sadly, Sweden caught the train to Bonkers this year.

I refer back to my earlier comment about the Israel entry and advise them to purchase some XXL from FYR Macedonia and then they’d have the musical equivalent of an A-bomb.

I just watch the entry from Finland and think “awww, bless”.

This was Latvia’s first time in the Eurovision and I’m not sure if the future has reached them yet. Oooo he’s like a little Mick Jagger he is. This song actually popped up on my Music Mix the other week and I really quite like it. It’s quriky and original and I think they deserved to finish third.

Ireland entered a mulleted version of Cliff Richard singing a song with lovey dovey, heal the world lyrics and just made me want to barf.

I think that the producers of the Hairspray musical could well have been watching the Austrian entry. “Hey Mama, Welcome to The Sixties” ahem, RIP OFF.

Well, that was it – what a marathon of a show it was this year and it was time for the interval act. Every year the show is in Sweden I am convinced that Abba will perform but sadly it wasn’t this year – I live in hope. Despite not being Abba, the interval act was pretty good.

Who were the winners? Basically, the winners were the Danish equivalent of Scottish folk group, The Corries. They were called The Olsen Brothers and performed “Fly On The Wings I Love”. I loved it and no mistake. A well deserved win!

Interestingly, there was a dance version released in the UK a year or so later and was a massive hit.

Until next time – Fly On The Wings Of Love!

I also contribute articles to wiwibloggs – Eurovision News, Polls and Predictions – With Attitude please take a few minutes to visit the site.