REVIEW: ‘Music’ – Madonna

Written by The Lazy Music Reviewer

This is the first review by the Lazy Music Reviewer. He is too busy listening to and promoting lots of awesome music (ahem and has a full time job) that he simply doesn’t have time to do an in-depth review (or maybe he is just not a good enough writer to write one – you decide) but he still wants to “review”.

So, the way he works is he will sum up each song in just a few words (sometimes even one word – he’s just that lazy) and then also link via other people’s words to other more in depth reviews (because he’s wicked and he’s lazy) for your reading pleasure because it’s always good to get more than one person’s opinion, right?

Queen Of Pop, Madonna, is hopefully releasing new music this year so let’s take this opportunity to look back at Madge’s awesome career.

Music” is the eighth studio album by Madonna. Musically, this album has something for everyone with an overall dance-pop and electronica vibe. However, the album also contains elements of rock, country and folk, also including the use of vocoder on many tracks.

Released on September 18, 2000 “Music” debuted at number one in over 23 countries around the world, and was Madonna’s first album to reach the top of the Billboard200 in 11 years since Like a Prayer”.

1 – Music

“nailed it – music does make the people come together!”, The Lazy Music Reviewer

the finest gay anthem not to be sung by Cher it is also a truly brilliant pop song“, Sputnik Music

“try dancing to it. It has all the rhythmic grace of an Emile Heskey dive; all the funk of the Hokey Cokey. Finally, the penny drops. It is naff. Screamingly, amusingly, hypnotically naff”, The Guardian

2 – Impressive Instant

Madge owns the vocoder“, The Lazy Music Reviewer

pretty decent song“, Sputnik Music

roars like a rock rocket ship, then purrs“, Rolling Stone

3 – Runaway Lover

“come round my house and let’s trance the night away“, The Lazy Music Reviewer

sounds like a Ray Of Light outtake with uninspired couplets“, Slant Magazine

another similar nugget of non-profundity“, Pop Matters

4 – I Deserve It

“oh hello acoustic guitar!“, The Lazy Music Reviewer

Madonna drops her guard, clearly portraying Guy Ritchie, her newborn’s father“, Rolling Stone

most surprisingly not-bad track“, Pop Matters

5 – Amazing

if Beautiful Stranger had a big sister then this would be it!“, The Lazy Music Reviewer

a lively, made-to-single dance tune“, Pop Matters

harks back to her previous album Ray of Light with an electronic feel, but sounds comparatively weak; the hook is lackluster at best“, Sputnik Music

6 – Nobody’s Perfect

Hi Madge – Cher called, she wants her autotuner back but don’t give it to her, this is awesome!“, The Lazy Reviewer

too slow and keyboard-tricky to rank with Madonna’s great snark-capacity“, Pop Matters

Madonna admits and aurally embodies major fuck-ups. But she’s still devoted to love“, Rolling Stone

7 – Don’t Tell Me

anyone who dresses like a Cowboy is a winner with me – oh and love the song too btw“, The Lazy Reviewer

Madonna has become even more human, exposing her fears“, Slant Magazine

another near miss, with admirable attitude but, well, laughable lyrics“, Pop Matters

8 – What It Feels Like For A Girl

well now I know, thanks Madge #MeToo!“, The Lazy Music Reviewer

a feminist anthem that’s as musically gentle as it is lyrically barbed“, Rolling Stone

as songs-for-your-kids go, this one is outstanding“, Pop Matters

9 – Paradise (Not for Me)

unwindingly fabulous“, The Lazy Music Reviewer

sorta trancey, sorta tedious“, Pop Matters

cool, camp“, The Guardian

10 – Gone

this song is never ‘gone’ it finishes and I hit replay, it finishes, I hit replay – get it?“, The Lazy Reviewer

“softly strummed acoustic guitars preface some peachy harmonies, and the line “dream away your life” hits a pristine high point“, The Guardian

she might have been a country star had we all lived in another universe“, Pop Matters

Bonus Track – American Pie

as the late, great MC Hammer once said ‘you can’t touch this’ – you should have listened Madge, soz!“, The Lazy Reviewer

ends the album on a sour note, but then, as Madonna puts it on Nobody’s Perfect“, The Guardian

Orbit produces American Pie to satisfactory effect – despite the overall result begging the question WHY“, MusicOMH

What are your Madonna memories? Can you sum this album up in one sentence? Go on – be lazy, you know you want to!

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